VEGETA: The Owner’s Guide and Maintenance Manual
by omnipotent Porunga
Summary: Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a Vegeta unit! To enjoy the benefits of owning your very own Saiyan Prince, read the following guide and learn how to get the most out of the arrogant alien…


**VEGETA****: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual**

Congratulations! You are now the proud **owner** of a Vegeta unit! To enjoy the benefits of owning your very own Saiyan Prince, read the following **guide** and learn how to get the most out of the arrogant alien…

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**CONGRATULATIONS!**

You are now the proud owner of a newly released Prince VEGETA unit! With a little help from this manual, you'll have no trouble unlocking the full potential of your very own Saiyan Prince. Read the following guide with care, as misuse of the Vegeta unit will prove hazardous to your physical and mental health.

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**Technical Information:**

Name: Vegeta (will also respond to: Your Highness, The Prince of All Saiyans, Vegetable Head and "you jerk!")

Date of Manufacture: See the bottom of your packaging.

Place of Manufacture: The Accidental Alien Wing, Capsule Corp.

Height: About 5'3" (160 cm)

Weight: About 55.7 kg (123 lbs.)

Length: Classified Information (try to hack into the "Bulma unit Secrets" folder)

Note: Your Vegeta unit, like all Capsule Corp. units, will grow to maturity once activated. Height, weight, and length will change accordingly. To program an age limit, please contact one of our certified retailers for help.

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**Your VEGETA unit will come in the following modes:**

Serenely psychotic and antisocial (default)

Pissed off and extremely irked

Oozaru (locked)

Super Saiyan levels 1 & 2

Majin Vegeta (locked)

Golden Oozaru (locked – needs a DBGT Upgrade Programming)

Super Saiyan level 4 (Password Protected – needs a DBGT Upgrade Programming)

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**Your VEGETA unit will come with the following accessories:**

One set of Blue Spandex Training Suits

Armours (design depends on which version you bought)

A pair of Training Gloves

A pair of Training Boots

An attachable/detachable soft and sensitive Tail

A pair of Pink BADMAN Briefs (optional)

[NOTE: With the DBGT Upgrade Programming, his accessories will become more suave and trendy]

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**Initialising your VEGETA unit:**

Make sure that while opening the package, there is no round, white source of light around, at least not until the unit's tail has been detached.

Try to have a BULMA unit around to get him settle down easily. Tons of edibles will serve the purpose too.

It is not advisable to let the untamed mercurial unit free before he learns not to harm you. His intrinsic distrustful nature will otherwise identify you as an enemy and may cause some serious damage to your person and property.

If on opening, you find the package empty that means the unit has gone into 'self-activation' mode, and escaped during shipping. It is likely that the hungry and temperamental unit is right behind you and aiming a ki blast at the back of your skull.

Feel free to panic.

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**Relation with other units:**

BULMA: Probably the only unit that can get him settle down and control his temper a tiny little bit.

GOKU: Will fight a lot with it, and hate it initially, but will eventually accept him as a worthy rival. But will always address the unit as 'Kakkarott'.

TRUNKS: Will ignore at first, but when the occasion arises, will not hesitate to sacrifice himself for his sake.

BRA: The effects will not be clear without a DBGT Upgrade Programming.

YAMCHA: Will hate him till eternity, though will not show it if a BULMA unit is around.

Rest of the Z-FIGHTER Play Set: Will ignore them mostly with a condescending glare©.

FRIEZA and the GINYU FORCE Value Pack (including ZARBON): Do not leave VEGETA alone with any of them for long without GOKU, GOHAN and KRILLIN units around.

Other Villains: Fighting will be unavoidable, sometimes incurring injuries, but that is part and parcel of your VEGETA unit.

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**Cleaning and Maintenance:**

It is absolutely, completely necessary to bathe your VEGETA unit as often as possible. As he may not be used to your bathtub, it is a good idea to step into the shower with him to teach him how to operate the (his) machinery. At least put him in a glass bathroom with no curtains. We also recommend you do random strip searches... just in case he does anything bad. He can be very sneaky.

If you have a unit that seems to be particularly resistant to the idea of being bathed, do not force the issue. It will get you killed. Instead, gently coax your unit into allowing you to share his shower but minimise contact for your own safety until he can be persuaded that bath time is really meant to involve two people doing questionable things.

Due to the pre-programmed habit of intense training and physiology-construction, your VEGETA unit will need a mountain of edibles three times a day. It may help to have a hospitable culinary specialist like MRS. BRIEFS unit around.

Your VEGETA unit will need a lot of rest and recovery time. To ensure this, personally remain on his bed and try to help him. If he resists, attach the Soft and Sensitive Tail accessory and stroke it from tip to base. Wearing a blue wig in this situation will also help.

Warning: VEGETA units and its manufacturers are not responsible or liable for any marital disputes caused by bathing or helping to rest a VEGETA unit.

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**Frequently Asked Questions:**

Q. As soon as I opened the package, my VEGETA unit turned to a giant ape and started demolishing everything around. What to do now?

A. Probably he has unlocked his Oozaru mode; get a YAJIROBE unit get his tail detached.

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Q. My VEGETA unit was fighting a Dr. GERO unit, and then started lusting after my neighbour's GOKU unit. How do I bring him back to normal?

A. Dr. GERO unit may have infected the VEGETA programming with some virus. From Shonen he has been turned to Yaoi. To solve this problem, get a FUTURE TRUNKS unit to run an antivirus check.

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Q. My VEGETA unit is trying to kill any blonde he sees with green/teal eyes… help!

A. Your VEGETA unit is yet to unlock his Super Saiyan levels and has probably seen a transformed GOKU or FUTURE TRUNKS unit (or both). So he has gone into his Pissed off and extremely irked mode and is thinking of all the people with golden hair and teal eyes as rival Super Saiyans. This will subside once he achieves his own transformation. To speed up the process, purchase a Limited Edition Gravity Room/Space Ship accessory and have him train in that.

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Q. There is an ugly 'M' on the forehead of my VEGETA unit and he is trying to kill everyone.

A. The VEGETA unit has unlocked the Majin mode. Check if he has been near a BABIDI unit in the recent past. Do not worry, this is a temporary phase. Get him to fight with a GOKU unit for additional help.

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Q. My friend's VEGETA unit has cool red fur, a permanent tail and unlimited energy. How do I get my VEGETA to be like that?

A. Your friend's VEGETA unit is in the Super Saiyan level 4 mode. To achieve this, it is mandatory for you to get a DBGT Upgrade Programming. Then get him to a DBGT Upgraded BULMA unit and unlock this mode with the password she provides with.

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**Troubleshooting:**

Problem: Your VEGETA unit is acting too OOC and mushy and stuff…

Solution: Probably his suppressed hormones are driving him crazy. Try to get a BULMA unit to help him burn them.

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Problem: Your VEGETA unit is being extremely cruel and callous to your FUTURE TRUNKS unit.

Solution: Get a COMPLETE CELL unit to harm the FUTURE TRUNKS unit. It is guaranteed that your VEGETA unit will more than make up for his earlier careless attitude.

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Problem: Your VEGETA unit is becoming too injured too frequently.

Solution: Probably he is going back for more training before healing properly and adding to his previous injuries. Ensure that he gets proper recovery time by following the Cleaning and Maintenance steps carefully and repeatedly.

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Problem: Your VEGETA unit is ignoring you and devoting his complete attention to a BULMA unit.

Solution: Unfortunately, there is no remedy to this situation. Next time try a YAMCHA unit who can be persuaded to leave a BULMA unit, unlike your VEGETA unit.

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**Important:**

With proper, loving care, your VEGETA unit will turn from 'as social as a brick-wall with the sensitiveness of a cactus' to a caring partner or a respectful rival by the time he bids good-bye to a DBGT Upgraded GOKU unit. Because he is of a certified Saiyan Brand Machinery Type, he will live to a very ripe old age in astounding physical conditions. It might be necessary to write out clearly in your will which of your children/grandchildren is to inherit the VEGETA unit after your death.

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I, omnipotent Porunga, hereby lament that I own neither DBZ, nor a VEGETA unit.

*aw…aw…aw*

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Tell me if you are on the same boat with me…

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End file.
